The Day I Set a World's Record

When I was a little girl, the teacher would say "Find a book to read for the next 20 minutes" and, if I was quick enough, I'd snatch the Guinness Book of World Records off the library shelf before anyone else could.

I would drift away from my adolescent angst for awhile staring at the world's fattest twins riding their matching motorcycles. (Nowadays you can see that anywhere.) Or be grossed out by that creepy man with the world's longest fingernails. I'd try to imagine how he could eat or even go to the bathroom. I assumed he must have had servants to do everything for him so he could just sit around and watch TV. He was sort of a hero to me.

This weekend, I was invited by Brad and Sally Lowder of Sonoma County to attend a Hoedown, but not just any Hoedown, we'd be trying for the World's Largest Virginia Reel for the Guinness Book of World Records!

I wanted to cover the event for Fetch The Cookie and had envisioned my terrifically unique and bold interview that I'd have with the Guinness Judge. Probably the best of his career. His name would have been Archibold or something cool like that. He would have worn a dark suit with long shiny European shoes. He'd be wearing an ascot and sporting his legendary bad teeth. Disappointment set hard on me when I found out Guinness would not be there. You see, if you want to have an official judge set foot on your event, it costs thousands of dollars. Instead, Brad followed the rules, filled out the applications, took pictures and videos, and had an official witness. Being a bonafide real estate agent, that's just another day at work for him.

Our Official Witness was BRENT FARRIS of KZST. Everyone knows that radio jocks are about as official as you can get. I'm pretty sure they had him fingerprinted and x-rayed. The IRS probably did a background check . We searched his car for unethical contraband. He was clean. So far.

After we signed in at the official table, on the official paper, we found an official place to stand on the grass until we could rope some strangers into dancing with us. I brought six "tween" girls who giggled and snickered like crazy when the group of Japanese exchange students joined us wearing straw hats, bandannas, and cowboy boots. I would love to read their Facebook pages to their families back home after attending their first Hoedown. They probably think we do this all the time.

The "caller" talked us through a couple of practice runs and then they announced we'd be doing it for an official NINE MINUTES. From the first clap of my hands to the last stomp of my foot, I smiled and laughed with my new dance partner, Kathy. We bowed, doe-see-doed, swung around, and skipped. The little girls' straw hats blew off in the wind as they were spun around by their partners. There was cheering and clapping and laughing everywhere. Just like all fun and wonderful things it went by too fast, leaving us all with a gallant feeling of achievement mixed with a sad feeling of completion.

If you'd be interesting in making or breaking a World Record, here's how. So get your family together and see what you can dream up. What are your skills? How about the world's largest lemonade stand? How about the most blog comments in the world (hint, hint). Currently, our family is setting the record for the world's largest pile of laundry.